Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas... in jail!

Santa Claus should be locked away!

This may seem out of the blue, but if you analise the evidence against him, you'll see that I'm right. To enumerate...

Santa Claus is known by many names. Now, most people who go by many names usually have something to hide, for instance, con artists. Now this Santa Claus, aka Saint Nicholas, aka, Kris Kringle, aka, Father Christmas, if nothing else, seems to be hiding something.




The fact that he's isolated in the North Pole all year (probably to escape extradition) demonstrates some sociopathic tendencies. When he comes to civilazation, what does he do? Gets some kids to sit on his lap and enters houses through the chimne, with a bag full of goods. Paedophilia and Breaking and Entering right there.

Other than his attraction to kids, we can also expect sexually deviant behaviour involving elves. After all, the man's in the North Pole all year. I'm sure he has a couple of harassment complaints on him.

The whole flying sled thing is another issues. Other than the fact that most animal defense associations probabbly have a problem with the way he forces his reindeer to do his bidding, the whole "visiting all the houses in the world" (except Africa, I guess) is a clear violation of airspace (national and otherwise). I'm guessing he doesn't even have a flying licence.

The whole toy business also smells like some kind of mafia money laundring operation. If you add this to all previous evidences, I think it's pretty clear that the fact that he is allowed to go free is a statement to the fact that the justice system doesn't work and that there's no international cooperation when it counts.

Santa Claus must be stoped!