I gave at the office

First, I'd like to address some complaints that this blog has no pictures and that, since it's mostly text, it may look too bulky.


Now that that's over with, here are some of the ideas for charities that I'd donate to. I've been thinking, and there really are no charities out there that apeal to me. It's all for clildren, aids, cancer, hunder and stuff like that. Children are annoying. When I want to help some, I'll make my own. At least the process is fun. Aids and all the diseases are doinf fine on their own, they don't need your help. Hunger is easy to fix... just not politically and economically profitable. I have enough of worthless causes already. Plus, these things are either run by self-righteous freaks or currupt fuckers.

So, here's a list of good charities, good ways to improve the world, a little bit at a time:

- Handjobs for double amputees.
Think about ir. not only do they have a lot of trouble with shoelaces, they also have a hard time unhooking a woman's bra. Well, you could do it with your mouth, but it takes a bit longer... still, even then, even if they're getting some, there are times when a man just want to be alone. For a double amputee (we're talking hands or arms here!), it's like having a continual erectil disfuncion. You can gt it up, but they you can't rub the genie's bottle. We need to fix that injustice.

- Save the Whalers
With all those whales being saved, there is less and less work for these hardworking men. If they never existed, you'd never have a chance to read classics like Moby Dick and... well, fuck, I'm sure some other dickhead wrote about harpooning big fat mammals. Wonder if harpooning whales is an euphemism to fucking fat chicks... Anyway, if we don't do something now, we'll lose part of our culture and (insert random bullshit about cultural diversity and respecting minorties here). So donate already.

- Getting Computer Science nerds laid.
Forget it, bad idea. Not enough money in the world for that one.

- League for political incorrectness
We need something to offset the scales. For every guy who calls a tetraplegic man that lived in New York his entire life a "handi-able African-American", there should be another one behind him, kicking him in the balls and correcting it to "crippled black guy". Changing the name of anything will not change it's nature. Try this. Go to a cripple, a tetraplegic and tell him to stand up and walk. Now call him phisically impaired, handy-able or some other fuck. Tell him to walk. He can't, can he? What do you know... maybe you just call them handy-able to make you oblivious to the problem. It certainly not seems to be helping them!

- Equal right for Ninjas
I think in this day and age, ninjas should be allowed to vote and get married like anyone else. They are just helpless victims of all that bad publicity generated by a lot of crappy movies in the eighties. Kinda like sharks and Jaws, really. If you prick a ninja, would he not bleed? And then proceed to killing you and your entire familly, of course, but it's their nature. We invaded their space, always remember that.

- The Foundation for guys who have nothing better to do that write blogs and bitch about stuff.
Err... give me money. Now!